New thoughts...

I continue to open my heart up to where in the world God wants me to dig in, and I continue to not know.

It is so frustrating.

Here I am, ready and willing to go make a difference in the world for the Kingdom of God, and I don't know where I am supposed to do this.

Here are some things that I am pondering.

1. Am I not listening correctly?
I don't want to be someone who is always complaining and not able to see that I just have to get up and go......not just sit and pray......but face my fears and go.

2. What good can I do?
I can't help but face the fact that I am just a spec in the human existence on a spec in eternity. Why even bother? Does God need me? Not really. Does God think that I will fix all the poverty in the world? No.

3. Why do I have so much fear to start something?
Beginning any journey is a big deal. It effects my wife, my friends, my family. Just thinking about making a decision throws my wife into a weighty stress that is not easily shaken. But these are the things that I face every day when I begin to think about doing what God is asking.


So where does that lead me this March morning?

I am left with the fact that now is the time to take some risks. Go for it with all I have and continue to build a foundation of truth and righteousness. Live life with the motivation that God is alive and breathing His life into us and wanting to build His Kingdom using His people. Even people like me. Not because He needs me to spread His good news. But because He needs me to understand what it means to be used by God....


I really wish that I could know.

But I can't.

So I will just take a step.....one little step.....knowing that every step is scary....